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Special Folks  / Katie Tolliver (friend)

   Day after day I have learned never to under estimate the love an Angel, and his MOTHER.
    Milo, I know I dont need to tell you for you already know, but sometimes ya just gotta say it anyways.  Thanks.  Thanks for bringing your Mom and your family into my life.  She will be my forever friend.  We talk about you alot, I feel as if I get to know you more everyday.  When I get where you, I can only hope you know me as well. Thanks, ever so much, for the gentle push forward that you give your mom, to begin to smile, and to remember the good things, that she shares with me.  I think you and many other Angles have been there from the start, connecting us together, for the reason of healing.  It will be a constant journey, but I am truly blessed to have your mom to travel with me. 
    SO JUST A GREAT BIG THANK YOU!!!!!  For never giving up, on either one of us.  Keeping SHINING, the warmth of you love brings GREAT comfort.


                                                           Bunches,
                                                              Katie
                                                        aka: Jim's Big Sister

Today Was Special, Milo . . .  / Mom

Hi Milo,

Bet you noticed that Stacy and I spent some time together today. We did her English Literature homework, I made lunch & we went to The Coffee Grind for a cup of joe.  I felt your prescence when I looked at her - such amazing similarities!! Keep shining down on us, MILO.  We're sending LOVE, Peace and Happy Memories your way.  We always will keep you in mind as we're going through this life, hoping YOU are sharing our every moment.
You are so missed!! Wish YOU were here!!

Always,

Mom & Stacy
A kiss from your angel  / Beth Dickerson (Jimmy’s Mom )

AN ANGEL'S KISS....

We go through life so often,
not stopping to enjoy the day.
And we take each one for granted,
As we travel on our way.


For in your pain and sorrow,
An Angel's Kiss will help you through,
This Kiss is very private,
For it is meant for only you.

We never stop to measure,
Anything we just might miss.
If the wind should blow by softly,
You'll feel an Angel's Kiss.

A Kiss that's sent from heaven,
A Kiss from heaven above.
A Kiss that is very special,
From someone that you love.

So when, your hearts are heavy,
And filled with tears and pain,
And no one can console you,
Remember once again...

About the ones you grieve for,
Because you sadly miss.
The gentle breeze you took for granted
Was just an Angel's Kiss.



Death . . .  / Mom


I answer the heroic question, "Death, where is thy sting?" with "It is here in my heart and mind."


                                 - Maya Angelou
To Marla  / Katie Tolliver (friend)

My Mom, she tells a lot of lies

 She never did before.
 From now until the day she dies.
 She'll tell a whole lot more.

 She used to tell the truth, a lot
 But now it doesn't matter.
 I died and went to heaven,
 Her life is all a-shatter.

 Ask my Mom how is she.
 She'll say, "Yes, I'm fine!"
 She wants to beg "Please help me.
 I can't find that boy of mine!"

 Ask my Mom, how is she,
 She'll say, "I'm alright."
 If that's the truth then tell me,
 Why does she cry each night?

 Ask my Mom, how is she,
 She seems to cope so well.
 She didn't have a choice, you see,
 Nor the strength to yell.

 You think you know the feeling,
 But this cannot be.
 For even though you loved me,
 You didn't love as much as she.

She will smile and tell you,
 "They say there is a plan."
 But she will turn away and cry
 'Cause she just can't understand.

 Tell a joke and she will laugh,
 But she is not o.k.
 She wants to share the joke with me,
 But it will not be today.

 I watch from here, in Heaven.
 Her distress disturbs my peace.
 Will someone please take care of her,
 And thus take care of me?

 "Some day you will feel better."
 "Yes I will." she lies.
 She knows this will not happen,
 Until the day she dies.

 "I was so lucky!
 I had him all those years!"
 (They passed in a minute,
 I shed so many tears.)

 Ask my Mom how is she,
 She'll say, "Thank you. Good."
 She cannot tell you how she feels.
 Oh, how I wish she could.

 Ask my Mom how is she,
 "I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
 For God's sake, Mom, just tell the truth
 Just say your heart is broken.

 Ask my Mom how is she,
 "I'm well, I'm good. And you?"
 I'll shake my head in Heaven.
 It simply isn't true.

 She'll love me all her life.
 I loved her all of mine.
 But if you ask how is she,
She'll lie and say she's fine.

 Her carnival is over.

 She's stepped off the carousel.
 But, to save you feeling badly,
 She'll say, "Thanks, all is well."

 My Mom, she's not gone mad, yet.
 But, oh so very nearly.
 Don't ask my Mom how is she,
Ask how is she, really.

 I am here in Heaven.
 I cannot hug from here.
 If she lies to you, don't listen.
 Hug her, hold her near.

 On the day we meet again,
 We'll smile and I'll be bold.
 I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mom,
 With all the lies you told!"

    Dear Marla,
I read this from another site (I hope they dont mind me borrowing it).  Instantly I thought of you.  I could hear Milo telling this to all his angel friends.  I love you, my forever friend.  Take Care of yourself.
Remember Milo, loves you too!
BIGGER THAN THE SKY!
 With all my heart,
   Katie

My Dreams . . . . About Milo. . .  / Mom (Mother & Friend )


My Dreams

January 31, 2006

Not too long ago I was having dreams of Milo almost every night.  Because I want to remember them, I will put them here on his website.

. . . . . . . .


We were on a super highway far above the clouds.  We didn't have to move, the road just took us away.  I was holding Milo in front of me.  He was about 10 years old.

The road kept taking him away from me, and I had no control.  But Milo kept returning to me . . . And He still does.

. . . . . . . .


Another dream:

I walk into Milo's room.  Something triggers a flip switch and all of a sudden Milo appears.  I am stunned.  I tell him we've already had a funeral.  He tells me that he's not dead, he's just been out with his girlfriend.
--------------------

Another
Dream


I'm in an airplane with my husband, Jim.  The exterior surface of the plane has been removed and I can see exactly how it has been put together, with small blocks.
The blocks begin to fall apart . . .

I get scared and try to find Jim.  I can't find him anywhere.  Then, all of a sudden I'm in a tunnel going extremely fast.  There is a beautiful light all around me.  The experience is so beautiful that I lift up my arms and embrace it.  I know I'm dieing.




          February 8th, 2006


I had a dream last night.  I was in a huge hotel with hundreds of swimming pools.  I had lost Dutch and was trying to find him, walking from one pool to the next.  When I noticed that his bag of food was gone, I KNEW he was with you, Milo.

Sure enough, in the next place I looked I saw both You & Dutchie walking towards me.  You had walked for 3 hours back into the forest and were just returning to greet me.

I'm so glad you and Dutch are together again.  You were such loyal friends to one another.

To Dear Milo With Love & Care XO  / Jane Einarson (I care )
                           
so sorry for your loss  / Courtney Parker (n/a)
I am so sorry for your loss.I loss my best friend in a car accident in 2005.We will miss them dearly untill we can meet them again in heaven.Please visit her site and leave a candle or a tribute her name is Jonna Begley.Her website is:

www.jonnabegley.memory-of.com
Thinking about you MILO!  / Valerie Haslett
Just Be My Friend  / Marla Williamson (Mom & 4ever Friend )



I will not be again the same
I will look back from whence I came.

Death holds no fear for me anymore,
I will not close that open door.

With God's help I will left my heart,
I'll run the race, I'll do my part.

Yet somehow to be the same again,

Don't expect it of me, Just Be My Friend.

Milo you are so Loved  / Marlene Bohn (Angel Mother )
The memeory site is so beautiful n music comforting. Milo is so loved n missed by his loving family how blessed he is. The love., dedication n devotion to your son he will cherish n keep his memory alive forever. So truly sorry for I understand the pain in sorrow you carry in your hearts everyday. Reach take my hand for I too am walking in your footsteps n will be by your side when you cry, need strength, words of love caring n just to listen about Milos memories. I know my loving son Eric n Milo r buds shinning down uom us from Heaven above. May the Lord Bless your loving family.
Fondly Marlene Bohn Erics Loving Mother 
My Dearest Son  / Mom
January 25, 2005


My Dearest Son,

I cried when you
 came into this world,
and cried harder
when you left. 

You have left a void
 that cannot
 be filled. 

There was and is
only
 one YOU, Milo.

  I hope you knew
and know
How much
 I love you,
How concerned
I was,
And how frustrated
 I became, 
Knowing that I 
Couldn't
Help or Save
You. 

I know now
 That you suffered From
Bipolar Disorder
 Long before
 You
 Were
Properly
Diagnosed

I know, too,
That you suffered
 From your Depression, 
 Your A.D.D.,
And from
 Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 
I only wish
 I could have taken
It all away from you. 

No one
Likes
 To see
 Their children
 Suffer . .  .

They say that 20%
Of those
Diagnosed
With Bipolar Disorder
Will
 Take their own life. 
"Were you one of them?" It scares Me
To think
That
Perhaps,
You 
Were.

 I will NEVER know . . . 

 I do know,
You were too
 Young
 To die. 
But I feel you are
 With me
 Each and every day,
And
 I thank God
 For that.
  It brings me peace of mind
 When nothing
 Else
Can.

I still have trouble
Believing you are
 Gone
 From
This
 Earth.

   I long for those
 Big Bear
Hugs,
YOU
Gave me.

 The walks we took,
 The music
 We listened to, while holding hands.
 The movies
 We
Watched
Together.

 And also the long chats
We used to have.
We could talk about anything

You were such a comfort
To me.

 You
still are.

You were always
 sSo very funny, Milo.
What a personality!!. 

If the show
was
 just for me,
 I enjoyed it
Immensely,
And rehearse it
 Constantly.
 
 You'll be ON 
"REPLAY,"
FOR THE REST
OF
 
MY
 LIFE .

Thank you, MILO,
For gracing
 My life. I thank God for the 29 years We had together.

I'll love you for eternity.

Thank you
For helping
 me.

I have grown,
Because of you.

 And
I have
 God In My Life, Fulltime,
 Thanks to You!

 Your life will always
Be a reminder To Me
And
To Others
 that

LOVE
NEVER DIES.


How Wonderful  / Joyce Yack Matthews Mom (Another Grieving mother )
What a wonderful tribute to your precious son Milo. Your site for him is so filled with love. I can feel the closeness that you shared with him, and him with his family. I love your writings of My Child, Hope... just all of them. Did you write them? They are just beautiful and so true. You said things that so many of us moms feel. Yes Milo is with you closer than before...The bond will never break he is also so very proud of you mom.
Hold that thought along with your memories of your son.
My Love to you my special friend, Hugs & prayers to you, Joyce
Dancing man for Milo xxx  / Kelly BALDRY XX (Joes mum xxx )

Rave
RaveRaveRaveEspecially for Milo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxKelly
Remember When??????  / Mom Williamson (Mother & Friend - )



Milo . . .


Do you Remember When?


We lived on Welter Street in Las Vegas? One day Leslie was visiting.  You got all mad at her & me because we'd been drinking .  You went outside & started jogging down the street. 
Leslie followed at you.  She just wanted to talk to you, but you
kept running away.
Finally, she became irritated with YOU
because you wouldn't slow down.
So,
She picked up some gravel and threw it at you!!

Looking back now, I think that may have been the
only way to
get
Your Attention!!

(chuckle, chuckle, chuckle . . . )



MILO, . . .

Remember when you were just a toddler ?

You couldn't say oatmeal,

So you called it Me-ta-low???

Funny, boy!!!




You probably won't remember because you were so small, but . . .


Your dad used to take you swimming at the pool when we lived in Hawaii.  This was a daily ritual because it's the ONLY way we could get you to take a nap!!  And if you didn't get a nap in, you were Oh-So-Grumpy!!




REMEMBER

How you and Stacy were such a team??? You used to do everything together!!  When you were just a baby, she often had to feed you.  It wasn't until; years later that I discovered that she would squeeze the bottle so you would have to drink faster!!  Hmmmm, I always wondered how you could down a jug of milk so fast.  Now I know!!


Stacy,

You're a funny girl!!


Remember My poetry, Milo . . . Something that Always Made You Laugh!!  / Dad Williamson (Stepdad & Friend )



Twinkle, twinkle, Little Star
How you wonder where I am
Way up in the sky so low
You're a better man than I am
Old black Joe.



Thirty Days Hath September
April, June and no wonder
All the rest eat peanut butter
Except Grandma
And
She
  Drives
A
Buick.


Rituals . . .  / M.K. Williamson (Mother & Friend )  Read >>
Rituals . . .  / M.K. Williamson (Mother & Friend )



The function of ritual is paradoxical: to both anchor us to high places on the steep slopes of this world on which we are always losing our footing, and to free us from the despair of being stuck in the world's mud.



Ritual behavior softens the phases of life when we are remeinded how hard it is to be human.  Ritual behavior enriches the phases of life when we are reminded how fine it is to be human.

Rituals are timed by beats of the heart, not ticks of the clock.

Most of our major holidays are connected to seasons.  They are flexible feast days adapted to human needs.  Heart time is not clock time - rituals should never be hurried.

Rituals are frames around the mirrors of the moment.  They are the coin by which attention is paid to the moment.

Nobody lives without them.  Rituals do not live without somebody.


. . . . . .


Being Born

What the child sees, the child does.
What the child does, the child is. 


irish proverb -



DEATH

Death is a black camel that lies down at every door.
Sooner or later you must ride the camel.

arab proverb -




Children and adults do not look at death in the same way.  It is a mistake to assume they do . . .



For everything there is a season,
And a time and purpose for every matter under heaven.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to keep silent, and a time to speak;
For everything there is a season,
And a time and purpose for every matter under heaven.




The remedy for dirt is soap and water.
The remedy for dying is living.


chinese proverb -




How dull and meaningless and hopeless life can seem - only to become exciting, vibrant, and filled with hope the next day.  Whole nations come back from destruction and oppression - when great problems get addressed and resolved.

All our exits become entrances.

The human capacity to take whatever life dishes out and to come back is never underestimated.  How amazing it is, knowing we are all going to die anyhow, that we are so dertermined to live as well as we can, no matter what.  For all our little deaths, we defy our fate and come to life again and again, and yet again.


Daily, we redeem ourselves in unspoken rituals of renewal.  Daily, we get up and go to work in the construction business of building and repairing and remodeling a life.

The ritual of revival has many names: "born again" and "healing" or simply "getting our act together."

Whatever the name, however large or small the act, the urge to reassemble the fragments of our lives into a whole is the same.







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Am I Paranoid, or are People Avoiding Me?  / Marla Williamson (Mom)  Read >>
Am I Paranoid, or are People Avoiding Me?  / Marla Williamson (Mom)
Even though grievers seem to be walking through quicksand, they usually have a heightened awareness of what is going on around them.  In particular, they are very aware of being judged, evaluated, or critized.  Unhelpful comments almost always encourage the griever to feel some other way than the way they feel.  For example;  don't feel sad, you should feel grateful that you had him/her for so long!

In addition to the constant fight against killer cliches, the griever starts to experience being avoided by people they know.  Grievers notice that friends who know about the loss will not approach them or will talk to them and never mention the loss.

The truth is that people often do avoid grievers.  Since our society has so mis-educated us about loss, we are often led to believe that the griever wants and needs to be left alone.  Although grievers sometimes want to be alone, more often they want to be treated normally.  Because we were never properly taught how to talk about conflicted feelings caused by loss, we are often afraid to talk to our friends when they have experienced a loss.  Therefore our own fear will cause us to avoid grievers or to avoid the subject of their loss.

Fear is one of the most common responses to loss.  For example, when a spouse dies:  How will I go on without them?  Or, after a divorce: Where will I find another mate as wonderful, as beautiful?  While fear is often the emotional response to loss, in our society, ISOLATION is frequently the behavioral reaction to the fear.

Look aqt the combination outlined above.  People avoid grievers because they are mis-informed and afraid.  Grievers avoid others because they are afraid and then isolate.  Is anybody talking to anyone else?  And if so, are they talking about anything important to the griever?

As a result of tens of thousands of direct interactions with grieving people, we can tell you what grievers most want and need to do is talk about what "happened," and talk about their relationship with the person that died.  That does not mean that every griever will want to have a detailed conversation with every one they meet.  Nor does it mean that you always have to make yourself available to someone who may need more time than you have.

What we are suggesting is that instead of avoiding the subject of the loss that you at least acknowledge it.  A simple comment like, "I was sorry to hear about your loss," can be very helpful to a griever who may be questioning their own sanity because no one is even mentioning their loss.



This article was written by Russell P. Friedman, John W. James and The Recovery Institute.
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You Didn't Go Alone  / Joyce Yack Matthews Mom (Friend to Mom )  Read >>
You Didn't Go Alone  / Joyce Yack Matthews Mom (Friend to Mom )


You Didn't Go Alone
You never said I'm leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it,
And only God knew why
A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place,
That no one could ever fill
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
For all my love went with you,
The day God took you home.
-Author Unknown

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A couple of things I'd like to share . . .  / Joyce Yack (Matthew's Mom . . . )  Read >>
A couple of things I'd like to share . . .  / Joyce Yack (Matthew's Mom . . . )


"An Angel in the book of life, wrote down our baby's
birth.
And whispered as she closed the book, too beautiful for earth . . ."

Unknown -


"Memories are like threads of gold,
They never tarnish or grow old."


Unknown -


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